Open Your Hands

Nothing like trying to do things your own way and in your own power for God to shake things up so the focus can get back where it should be.....on HIM!
If you've came across this blog, you'll see I'm trying to pay off student loans because I believe God has placed a vision for me in Nicaragua. But, instead of allowing God to show His power and trusting in His timing, I've allowed money to become my god and my idol. In those attempts there were too many I's and no God's!
So, God is teaching me to open my hands. To let go of the control of what He has placed in my care. To increase my giving. I always thought myself to be a pretty generous person. I've had a few selfish moments, but for the most part I've always given my tithe without a second thought. And I give occasionally when opportunities present themselves. BUT, to give a little more sacrificially....that's hard when you know you could use that money to help yourself, especially when it's a great reason (relieve student loans = freedom for Brooke to move to Nicaragua = God's Word being spread and disciples being made)...but God has some big lessons for me to learn right now, right here where I am at.
"But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ²¹ So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them." (Genesis 50:19-21)
I know this scripture is Joseph talking to his brothers because of all they had done to him, but the principle can be applied in my situation too. Even what I intended for evil (the greed & pride in my need for more & more money) has been overturned by God who is teaching me about himself & (hopefully) transforming me just a tiny bit more into His image and that through this, I can give Him glory and more can come to know Him as their Savior! Amazing how it can change from bad to good just like that, huh!?
For those that do not know, I am now a Thirty One Independent Consultant. I started it with purely selfish reasons, only thinking of more $$$ to put toward my loan debt. But, God is transforming it into a huge growing opportunity for me! Not only an opportunity to be around more women & being in front of women on a regular basis (which could be Him growing me for the future), but now to allow women to purchase something for themselves and know that a portion of the profit will go to helping further the Gospel in some way, in the U.S. as well as ministries around the world!!
Here's to finally opening my hands, as a portion of the first party profit was donated to Christian Aid today to help missionaries in Japan to assist in the Japan Disaster Relief!! Jesus, may more come to know You through this donation!! To YOU be the glory!
MUCH LOVE!

Bye Bye, Mr. 8!!!

I haven’t been this happy to see Friday in a LONG time.  It’s been such a busy and rushed week at work. So, let’s just skip to the chase and make this as short an update as possible.  I made a whoppin’ $1,192.43 payment towards the loan earlier this week!! OH YEAH, thank you Mr. Mileage Check & Mr. Profit Sharing! …So what does that mean? I completely skipped the $8,000’s. I went from $9,075.00 to $7.901.82.  Talk about a motivation booster!!! Starting to see the debt boulder picking up a little speed to get to the bottom of the hill! I would have liked a nice, even $7,900.00 but Mr. Columbus made the banks close on Monday and so my payment came out on Tuesday. What does that mean? My loan had accrued $1.82 of unpaid interest! Bummer.  It was sooo tempting to make an additional payment of $1.82, but I resisted knowing I would be making another payment today…For today's payment, there were just too many things going on and too many expenses for me to put the $550 I like to pay and instead I had to make a puny payment of $154.45 today.  Not so great, but a little is better than nothing! (AND, I just realized that it STILL won’t be an even number! I forgot to add the extra $1.82 to my payment! so much for that!) =)

In other news, I had a group interview yesterday for a second job (part-time) at Bath & Body Works! They are hiring for seasonal help and I would love some extra cash, so why not!? This job could really get the numbers down quickly! I'll find out next week if I get the job, so I’ll keep ya posted.

~the current numbers…

Student Loans - $ 7,751.82

I'm getting hungry...

so, it's been over a month since I last blogged...opps! I guess I feel like the numbers haven't moved enough to be blog worthy so I keep waiting to drop down to the 'BIG 8'!! But, I have actually made 2 payments since my last post so I guess I'm due to update the numbers.  

Let's see, on September 10, the day the "Direct Debit" is scheduled, I paid $500 towards the loans (by the way, I get an extra 1/2% off my interest rate just for having the payment automatically debited from my bank account! less interest & not having to remember to pay = score!!).  That $500 took the balance down to $9,325.60. That number still seems soo far away from the 'BIG 8'.  Well, today I've been mulling over my bank account and what I still have to pay out before next Friday's paycheck. This past paycheck unfortunately has too many expenses to get caught up on (Note to self: really weigh the NEED of a cell phone! and shampoo and toothpaste and makeup!!! (I came out of walmart this past weekend with TWO bags and $60 bucks less in my bank account....my friends don't care if I'm stinky and ugly, right!?!? lol). I also have to renew my passport so there goes $110 to Mr. Government. But, I can't complain...I did the math and for a 10yr. passport, that fee comes out to about $0.92/month. Not too bad Mr. Gov't...not too bad.  I also have to pay for those beautiful car tags that keep the kind police officers at bay each year. Another $60 to Mr. K-town Government. sheesh! =)  On top of those "extras" I have the regular expenses including tithe, gas, and cell phone,  so I was really worried about making a payment this pay period.  But through all of those expenses, I stretched and just made a $262.18 payment toward the loans. Not the $500-550 I like to see, but it's better than nothing (thanks to Mr. Still Living At Home With Your Parents When You're 27 Years Old! You've been such a life saver to me!!)......You may be asking yourself, what kind of number is $262.18!?  Rest assured, I haven't went crazy...yet!  I did the math with the unpaid interest to date on the loans and so I had that in mind when I made my payment. I like nice, even numbers. Yes, I am one of those that goes over $0.01 on their gas and has to go up to the next dollar...and in turn gets gas all over the side of their car and maybe their feet!? opps.)  ...Anyways, if my math skills have not failed me, my EdFinancial Profile will update in the next 2 days with a new outstanding balance of $ 9,075.00.  soooo close to the 'BIG 8', but I've gotta keep a few dollars (literally, a few) in the bank, just in case! Little by little, I'm smelling the freedom (from debt) that is getting closer and I cannot wait!!!!!

Note to impatient self:  find a second part-time job to help this along...i'm getting freedom hungry!!!! =)

~the current numbers...

Student Loans  ---  $ 9,075.00

And The Countdown Starts - 10...9...

Waiting is not my strong suit. I am pretty impatient actually. I like things to be done right now, maybe even yesterday. One area this happens all the time is with my bills.  Any time I receive a bill I like to pay it immediately. I'm not one of those that wait til the due date and then stick it in the mail. I'd say it's because I don't trust myself. What if I forget about the bill and spend the money allotted to paying it!? I just can't take the risk so I pay it almost immediately. (I'm always checkin' my accounts online to make sure there isn't a new balance yet. a little OCD...perhaps.) So, needless to say I was big time nervous when I reported in the last post that I had $600.00 I was setting aside to put with my monthly payment that wasn't due until yesterday. I sat with an extra $600.00 in my account for 2 weeks and it killed me! I know it would have been the same if I paid the $600.00 then added another payment later, but I just wanted to see the significant leap in the balance when I made that BIG payment. crazy, I know. I can't tell you how many times I thought about going ahead and paying the $600.00 towards the loans. I also can't tell you how many things came along or popped into my head of what I could do with that $600.00!!! It was sooo tempting to tap into. But, I am pleased to say I exercised self-control over those impulses and desires and now I have a great report to reveal.  I just checked online and the current balance is down to...drum roll, please........... $ 9,791.31!! Yesterday I made a whoppin' $1,000.00 payment on those loans and it felt sooo great. And although it may be the toughest test of self-control I've had and will have, if I continue to put $1,000.00/month, I will be completely debt free in 10 months!! 10 months!!! June 2011, bring it on!

~the current numbers...

Student Loans  ---  $ 9,791.31

There is Joy in the Waiting

I am such a horrible procrastinator!! 3-4 weeks ago I could have blogged away about how I am finally credit card DEBT FREE!! woohoo!! I am officially free from that weight in my life, and I loveee it! Although, I will still be using the credit card for my benefit. I will continue to use it for purchases here at work so I can rack up all the frequent flyer miles I can get! The tables have turned and now I will be using the credit card company in order to benefit myself! [satisfaction.]

Not sure why it took so long for me to put this down in writing. I can't help but think it's a fear of some kind. I felt it rising up as soon as I sent that last credit card payment. I've conquered a tiny ant hill and now I look up and see this mountain in front of me. $ 10,753.65. Most days that number seems just impossible to pay off. especially when unexpected bills always seem to pop up. and when living frugally gets called being stingy. But either I am tight with money or I'll let loose and not see any progress in my efforts. I have to be stingy.

Unrelated, I would like to just express how awesome I think the blogging world is. Not just because I am a part of it (I don't think anyone outside my 3 followers reads this, maybe not even the 3 followers!?), but I love the encouragement/motivation/inspiration that can come from it. I've found a new hobby of "creepin" (I think that's the new slang) on Peace Corp Nicaragua bloggers. During this time of waiting that God has me in, I am half living through these bloggers and their daily life in Nicaragua. I can laugh at so many of their references because I've experienced the awkwardness of learning a new culture and all the quirky body language and signals that a culture shares. I've been known to catch up on 2-3 yr old blogs in a day. I have no shame. I'm pretty much best friends with half of these people, they just don't know it. One, in particular, that I started reading yesterday. she seems to be a Christian. she talks like a real Christian. oh, how I love when I find one of those. and she is an awesome writer, very deep. God definitely used her yesterday to give me the inspiration and encouragement that I needed for this season of waiting I am in right now. I've slowly learning it's not so much the actual waiting that becomes the lesson, but how I wait. I can wait and all the while be this dried up, callous, unpleasant person...or...I can learn the beauty in waiting. I can become a woman of peace who carries in herself this lighter spirit, because she knows Him whom she is waiting on, and that His timing is perfect. and that wanting anything less would be ruining this wonderful journey He has for me. So, although I daily want to beat my head against the wall (let's face it, waiting is not fun), I refuse to let my joy be stifled just because I'm a bit impatient (I really wanna see this beautiful image that I have in my mind come to life). But, I am learning there is joy in the waiting.

~the current numbers...

Amex  ---  $ 0.00  !!!!!!!!

Student Loans  ---  $ 10,753.65  (I do have $600 set aside to
                                                 hopefully pile up on the
                                                 principal when my next
                                                 payment is due!!)

it’s the end of june

Well, here it is. The day I thought I would pay my credit card off completely. It’s a somewhat sad day, because it’s not happening today. For a couple of reasons. One, I did not get my mileage check today as I thought I would (boss is on vacation). And two, I am embarrassed to say I used my credit card for a purchase of a birthday gift.  I did not foresee that purchase before I made my last credit card payment, therefore not having enough in my checking account to cover the purchase. And since I had it down to the penny, throwing $30 back into the mix creates a problem.  Another thing that is throwing things off a bit is the fact that my boss let me use my credit card (since I earn miles with Delta) to buy something for the office that cost around $4600.00. Needless to say, right now my credit card looks like I went on a mad shopping spree. Not that I would EVER spend money like that shopping, my mindset of spending has drastically changed (just ask my family) since I came back from Nicaragua. But that’s a blog for another day (one that is definitely festering in my heart at the moment)…Something good worth mentioning about my credit card situation at the moment is that I have paid off the remaining balance that was on the last statement. That means I shouldn’t have any finance charge for the next statement…definitely a good thing!

Because of the crazy exceptions at the moment, I’m not gonna update the numbers on this post. I’ll wait for next week when I will hopefully have a big, fat 0 to put up for Amex and some subtracting from the Student Loans. Until then, I think I might add a few posts dealing with some of the issues going on inside me. There’s so many thoughts on sooooo many things right now and I want to get them out. Maybe someone out there will even offer up their comments about what they think of it all. So look for a few somewhat “off the wall” posts in the next few days…and enjoy!

I must finally be gettin' Serious about this...

I had a hard five minutes debating whether I should make the payment I just made or to wait a week to make sure nothing comes up that I need to pay for. But my seriousness about getting out of debt overrode any unforeseen expenses in the next week and I just put another $700.00 towards my Amex card! yippee!!! it's going down quick...and I LOVE IT! It's still gonna be a nail-biter to the end, but I am hoping I can get the Amex paid off by the end of June! That means only 16 days and I will be credit card DEBT FREE!!!!! =)

Not only did I pay the $700.00, but I made my monthly $200.00 payment towards my student loans last Thursday.  That means my loans are now under the $11,000 mark!!!

the dwindling debt numbers are...

Student Loans  ---  $ 10,916.64
Amex  ---  $ 810.70  (if this number looks a little off, it's b/c of 
                               the ragged ol' $ 34.56 periodic finance 
                               charge on my credit card! ugh!!)